It's never been claimed that the Lord was speaking through me
I've never seen Bloc Party, Artic Monkey, FatBoy Slim or Vann Music live
I've never been to The George
I've never been to Wembley, or climbed The Monument
I've never tried to buy a house
I've never been to Electric Picnic
I've never done yoga
I've never been live on RTE television
I'm not certified as a MongoDB developer
I've never been to a rugby league game
I've never started a parody social media account
I've never been tackled by a security guard without a reason
I've never shared a taxi with a stranger
